i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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