He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
