I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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