There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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