gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize