just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she pinky promised me she was 18
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
