And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
