Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize