Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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