Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize