this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
