doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize