i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
