This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
