sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
