he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
well you can't waste a boner
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
