You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize