hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
