fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
