I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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