I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
