I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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