the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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