just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
