I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
