Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
