I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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