Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize