Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
