are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
