We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
