I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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