I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
