doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
