I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
