what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize