Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
