wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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