Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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