...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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