I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
