remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
