Quick, to the slutcave!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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