Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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