um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
