Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
handjob tips. give me some.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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