can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
