So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
