To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
tell me about the fingering
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
