Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
