kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
organizing the empties. That sober.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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