this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's always time for handjobs
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
