Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Randomize
