before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
