she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
