I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
