Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
