I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
