All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
