I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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