i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
