wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
